All kinds of bad people are trying to take over your technology through viruses and denial of service attacks, but this Wicca worshipper offers to use black magic to clear your processors and drives of evil spirits.
Reverend Joey Talley -- an ordained Wicca minister -- not only helps with your romantic and spiritual wellbeing, but she has skills with casting helpful spells on computers, she claims
"No problem is too big, too small or too weird or the Wicca way," Talley said in a YouTube video. "I solver problems."
Vice.com's Motherboard section reports that Tally's techniques include placing stones on top of the computer, clearing the dark energy by setting an intention with her mind, or cleansing the area around the computer by burning sage. "The time it takes to clear these viruses depends on the nefariousness of the entity, she says: sometimes it takes just an hour, other times it can take up to four," Motherboard writes.
"I just go in and work the energy," she told Motherboard. "And there are different stones that work really well on computers, fluoride is one of them. Also, some people really like amethyst for computers. It doesn't really work for me, but I'm psychic. So when I go into the room where somebody's computer is, I go in fresh, I step in like a fresh sheet, and I'm open to feel what's going on with the computer. Everything's unique, which is why my spell work changes, because each project I do is unique. Sometimes I do a magic spell or tape a magic charm onto the computer somewhere. Sometimes I have a potion for the worker to spray on the chair before they sit down to work. Jet is a stone I use a lot to protect computers."
No word on if she can repair cracked iPhone screens.